5 Ways to Boost Your Self-Worth and Step Into Your Power Today
Introduction
Today’s post is inspired by a quote I recently heard: “If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.” — Shirley Chisholm. As the first Black woman elected to the United States Congress in 1968, Chisholm’s words remind us that power is not always given; sometimes, we must claim it for ourselves.
Women have long been dismissed as too emotional, unpredictable, or outspoken—criticisms that attempt to diminish our strengths. Today, we’re continuing our series on stepping into your power, with a focus on embracing and owning your power through your self-worth.
Today I want to explore a few things:
How understanding self-worth directly impacts our ability to harness and embody personal power.
How to identify your own personal power.
How to act on that power and remind yourself that you are worthy.
The Foundations of Power and Self-Worth
Defining Power
Personal power is internal. It’s the ability to stay authentic, make decisions, and take aligned action. It’s confidence without arrogance, resilience in the face of setbacks, and clarity in your values.
We never truly lose our personal power, even if we sometimes feel powerless. Think back to moments where you overcame challenges despite the odds. Those were moments of stepping into your power—even if you didn’t realize it at the time.
Defining Self-Worth
Self-worth is your intrinsic sense of being worthy of love, belonging, and respect—regardless of achievements or external validation. It’s not to be confused with self-esteem, which is tied to accomplishments. Self-worth is internal; it exists because you exist.
Take a moment to reflect: When have you felt powerful? Not because of control over others, but because you loved and accepted yourself deeply? If you haven’t felt that yet, it’s okay. This post will guide you toward uncovering that path.
The Connection Between Power and Self-Worth
Self-worth is the foundation of personal power. Without it, we hesitate to make bold decisions or advocate for ourselves. With it, we believe we are deserving of opportunities, love, and success.
Imagine being in a meeting:
Someone with low self-worth may stay quiet, doubting their ideas.
Someone with high self-worth confidently shares their thoughts, knowing their voice matters.
This illustrates that power isn’t about controlling others; it’s about controlling your mindset and choices.
Personal Story: Reclaiming My Power
In my own life, I’ve faced many moments where I felt powerless. As a child, I often felt small and unseen, and that feeling stayed with me well into adulthood. For years, I carried that sense of being “less than,” especially within my family. It showed up most when I went home to visit. I hated those trips—not because I didn’t love my family, but because I felt like I couldn’t be myself around them. I’d spend the entire visit walking on eggshells, suppressing my feelings, and bracing myself to get through the next 48 hours.
The hardest part wasn’t just that I felt unseen—it was that I felt like I had to shape myself into someone I wasn’t just to keep the peace. I contorted myself to fit the version of me they wanted, the version that made them comfortable. But around my mid-twenties, something shifted. I realized I couldn’t keep living like that. The constant shapeshifting, the self-betrayal—it was exhausting. I finally hit a point where I decided enough was enough.
So, I started making decisions for me. I showed up as myself, no longer hiding or pretending. I set boundaries, said no to things that didn’t feel right, and pushed back against disrespectful comments. It wasn’t easy—it was messy, uncomfortable, and often met with resistance. But the more I stood in my truth, the more I realized something important: there are people—even in your family—who may not have the capacity to accept or support the new version of you. And when you start valuing yourself and asserting your worth, it can make people who are used to controlling or dismissing you deeply uncomfortable.
I learned this lesson in a profound way with my ex-father figure. He had been a central part of my life, someone whose love and approval I deeply craved. But as I started to reclaim my power—by setting boundaries and refusing to tolerate disrespect—he pushed back harder. He refused to acknowledge my needs, continued to cross boundaries, and showed me, time and again, that he wasn’t willing to grow or change.
The hardest decision I’ve ever made was cutting him off. It wasn’t a decision made lightly. It hurt. The part of me that had always yearned for his love and acceptance—the inner child who just wanted to feel worthy—was screaming in protest. But here’s the thing: self-worth isn’t about trying to prove your value to someone else. It’s about making decisions that honor you.
Cutting him off wasn’t about punishing him—it was about choosing myself. I had to recognize that his inability to respect my boundaries wasn’t a reflection of my worth, but of his own limitations. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do—for yourself and for others—is to let go.
That’s the essence of self-worth: standing in your power and making decisions for your own well-being, even when it’s painful. It’s choosing to honor your needs, your values, and your boundaries—not out of fear, but out of love for yourself. When you start doing that, you’re not just reclaiming your power—you’re reminding yourself, and the world, of your worth.
Self-worth isn’t just the foundation of power—it’s the gateway to a life where you can show up authentically, unapologetically, and fully in your own light.
Living a life authentically me - chipped nails and goofy smiles, covered in dog hair.
Recognizing Low Self-Worth and Its Impact on Power
Signals of Low Self-Worth
1. People-Pleasing: Ask yourself:
Am I doing this to avoid disapproval rather than from genuine desire?
Do I feel like I can say no?
If you feel obligated rather than empowered, you might be engaging in people-pleasing behavior.
2. Self-Doubt: Persistent self-doubt, often tied to limiting beliefs, can paralyze decision-making and erode confidence. Reflect on where this doubt originates.
3. Avoidance of Risks: Fear of failure can lead to missed opportunities. If you’re consistently avoiding challenges, it’s time to examine your beliefs about your ability to handle setbacks.
4. Inability to Assert Needs: Low self-worth can make it difficult to voice your needs or set boundaries, leading to a cycle of self-silencing and resentment.
Other signs include:
Negative self-talk.
Struggling to accept compliments.
Practical Steps to Build Self-Worth and Harness Your Power
1. Self-Awareness
Start by identifying the limiting beliefs that hold you back. Journaling can help you uncover where these beliefs originated and how they’ve shaped your decisions.
2. Affirmations
Create empowering affirmations to replace negative self-talk. For example:
“I am worthy of success and happiness.”
“My voice matters, and I deserve to be heard.”
3. Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. Practice saying “no” to things that don’t align with your values or energy.
4. Celebrate Small Wins
Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This reinforces the belief that you are capable and deserving.
5. Surround Yourself with Support
Build a community of people who uplift and inspire you. Their encouragement can help reinforce your self-worth.
Final Thoughts
Self-worth is the foundation of power. By recognizing and addressing patterns of low self-worth, you can begin to step into your authentic power. This journey is about making decisions that honor your needs, values, and boundaries.
Remember: You are inherently worthy. When you embrace this truth, you’re not just reclaiming your power—you’re building a life where you can show up authentically and unapologetically.
Check out my latest podcast episode if you need an introduction to stepping into your power. It’s never too late to start living authentically.
